Well let me tell you. I spent Earth Day spraying for bugs. I got to use this really cool super concentrated nuclear bug stuff. It was like one cap full for 19 gallons of water, and it will still burn your skin off. Anyways, I am in the back spraying, and I am going over some sticks. ONE OF THE STICKS CAME AT ME!!!! The big like 14 ft garder snake came hurling towards my face! RUN AWAY!!!!! So after regaining my composure...I thought I'd be smart and kill it with super nuclear bug stuff. The snake stopped slithering and scoffed at my stupidity (Oh come on...this stuff can kill a human but not a damn snake). So I then grabbed a real long stick and pinned it down. I think that pissed him off. I actually saw this snake mouth the words, "I'm going to kill you you f*cking dork!". So I then got a near by log and proceeded to beat the living shit out of my assailant, and before I had a chance to cry....I began to LA-A-A-A-U-GH HA HA HA HA!(thank you to Wammo for that line). So anyways, I began to carry this beaten carcass around proudly in my mouth (much like a dog does after fetching a stick). I layed the snake down on the bench, waiting for mom to come home and see my prize kill. Then I notice the end of the snakes tail was moving. I didn't know if this was some sort of natural thing or if the snake was alive and gaining his energy and getting ready to unleash his wrath upon me. So I proceeded to punch the snake while it was on the bench. When my hand began to throb, and the tail was STILL moving, I picked the snake up by the tail and slammed his head on the bench. And it still moved. I then thought it might be a natural thing and left it alone. When mom came home, she was so proud of me, she let me eat dinner in the living room (WOO HOO!). And then I went on my merry way spraying for bugs.

I take comfort in the fact that I killed a snake on Earth Day.

Maybe this didn't happen, maybe it is all part of your imagination and you are not even reading this right now. Go eat lunch. NO SOUP FOR YOU!

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